This morning Chance and I watched a Christmas movie together, still in our jammies. Well, Chance rolled around on the floor with his toys, and I played too, but the movie was playing in the background. I could follow it because I had read the book, Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. It was a cute movie. It only got 1 star, a shame, I thought it was pretty good and stuck to the book quite well. Anywhoo, I digress.
Halfway through the movie I picked Chance up and tried to feed him carrots and applesauce. Nuh. Nuh-uh, no way, Mom are you NUTS? OK, no breakfast. He nursed first thing this morning so that is probably why no appetite for breakfast. No big deal. We went back to the living room, continued playing, the movie was still going. After a little bit, Chance started whining and doing his "I'm getting tired" signs = rubbing face on the floor, grunting a bit, not being able to motor around as much, etc. I picked him up and we cuddled on the couch while the movie finished. He fell asleep within a few minutes. It was so nice. I just inhaled every moment. The fuzzy head of hair rubbing under my chin and the smell of the baby shampoo and the little fist clenching my thumb.
I was filled with a heart-warming fuzzy feeling that went past the holiday-gingerbread-and-hot-chocolate-in-a-snowstorm type of stuff from the movie. This is what I missed this Christmas. This Christmas was all about trying to get the baby to stop crying and watching his impossibly small body spasm with gas pains and won't he ever sleep? and waking up 3 times in the night to feed him and feeling constantly guilty and genuinely depressed. Was I depressed?
I don't know. I know I cried a lot. I found it difficult to laugh and smile, I just chalked it up to not enough sleep. I guess there's not a lot of merit in worrying about it now. I'm just so happy that I feel so good about my baby now.
Halfway through the movie I picked Chance up and tried to feed him carrots and applesauce. Nuh. Nuh-uh, no way, Mom are you NUTS? OK, no breakfast. He nursed first thing this morning so that is probably why no appetite for breakfast. No big deal. We went back to the living room, continued playing, the movie was still going. After a little bit, Chance started whining and doing his "I'm getting tired" signs = rubbing face on the floor, grunting a bit, not being able to motor around as much, etc. I picked him up and we cuddled on the couch while the movie finished. He fell asleep within a few minutes. It was so nice. I just inhaled every moment. The fuzzy head of hair rubbing under my chin and the smell of the baby shampoo and the little fist clenching my thumb.
I was filled with a heart-warming fuzzy feeling that went past the holiday-gingerbread-and-hot-chocolate-in-a-snowstorm type of stuff from the movie. This is what I missed this Christmas. This Christmas was all about trying to get the baby to stop crying and watching his impossibly small body spasm with gas pains and won't he ever sleep? and waking up 3 times in the night to feed him and feeling constantly guilty and genuinely depressed. Was I depressed?
I don't know. I know I cried a lot. I found it difficult to laugh and smile, I just chalked it up to not enough sleep. I guess there's not a lot of merit in worrying about it now. I'm just so happy that I feel so good about my baby now.
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