Making Peace

When people ask me how I feel, my response is positive: "great, really good, amazing, etc!" Sometimes people reply, with knitted eyebrows raised : "Really? 'Cause you just had a baby not too many days ago...(?)"

But now I have the proof that thing really, truly are going more smoothly this time.

Our first visitors were here today with it just being me and baby at home. I made a pot of coffee and a batch of apple scones. My friend brought her infant son (also her second child). We nursed the babies, chatted, nibbled, sipped and laughed - what a great way to spend the morning! I remember that when Chance was a baby and I was new to this mom thing, I waited until I felt human enough and then invited two moms over with their babies for a similar type of morning -- coffee, a snack, visiting. I remember I wrote down the date in the cookbook. I flipped to it this morning and saw that Chance was EIGHTEEN WEEKS OLD when I felt ready enough to have company over. Wow.

Both my friend and I agreed this AM that our second babies seem easier, more enjoyable. Maybe it is partly due to the fact that we are more experienced this time around, or because we didn't need to waste any time mourning the loss of our freedom, instead we are just cherishing every baby moment as we know they really don't last forever.

This friend is also sending her older child to day care and I found a lot of relief in sharing this with her. I have had mixed feelings of guilt and relief that Chance is away, but he is truly happier with his friends than being at home watching me nurse a baby. This allows a lot more time for Karin and I to bond and grow together as daughter and mom than if he was at home with us, and I have a lot more patience with him when he gets home. It's great to listen to his stories about artwork, the games he played and who hit who during Outside Time -- because these toddler moments don't last forever either!