Karin's first Birthday Party

Tasty blocks.

Chris the birthday boy and Karin, still trying to figure out that block.


....happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you....



Awesome cake!

Big kids and moms got their choice of eggless vanilla cake or good old chocolate cake. Big brother Matthew (green shirt) did a great job helping his mom bake, decorate and make loot bags for the birthday guests.

Karin and Chris really enjoyed swishing the tissue paper around.

Karin attended her first birthday party this week, I think she had a great time. I know she was at Chance's birthday party but you know, being the birthday boy's sister, she had to be invited, haha. This party was more geared for babies as the birthday boy was turning one year old, I think the pared down version was more enjoyable for her. Chance was also invited and he also had a great time playing with the older brothers of the birthday boy and other guests.

As we were leaving, Chris & Matthew's mom jokingly sobbed "I can't believe this year went by so quickly!!" and I think that really got to me because later that night while doing the dishes, it was me in tears thinking about all that has happened this year. I am going to be a right rotten teary snotty emotional mess come January. Sniff, sniff.

My first portrait

Chance drew a picture of me, the house, and Grandpa's new boat at playschool. I have some guesses about the others in the picture too. I just howled with laughter and then realized I was crying too because I was touched he had drawn a picture of me!

Cuties

Who wore it better, Chance or Karin?

Awwww...my babies are sooooo cute. Especially the big one, when he's all tuckered out from trying to keep up with Mommy.

Eyes Like Frying Pans

I love thee Wilma, with hair like silk,
Lips like cherries, skin like milk,
Your shell-like ears, your dainty hands,
And eyes so black, like frying pans

And when you in my arms are in,
My love how can you doubt?
I quiver just like geletin,
And sometimes even break out.

You're a perfect peach, my love,
Together we're a pear (pair),
You're sweet, you're nice, you're paradise,
And all kinna stuff like that there.

Cam told me about this poem, written by Fred Flintstone for his wife Wilma. It makes me think of Karin, her eyes are so dark grey they are almost black...like frying pans.

Making Peace

When people ask me how I feel, my response is positive: "great, really good, amazing, etc!" Sometimes people reply, with knitted eyebrows raised : "Really? 'Cause you just had a baby not too many days ago...(?)"

But now I have the proof that thing really, truly are going more smoothly this time.

Our first visitors were here today with it just being me and baby at home. I made a pot of coffee and a batch of apple scones. My friend brought her infant son (also her second child). We nursed the babies, chatted, nibbled, sipped and laughed - what a great way to spend the morning! I remember that when Chance was a baby and I was new to this mom thing, I waited until I felt human enough and then invited two moms over with their babies for a similar type of morning -- coffee, a snack, visiting. I remember I wrote down the date in the cookbook. I flipped to it this morning and saw that Chance was EIGHTEEN WEEKS OLD when I felt ready enough to have company over. Wow.

Both my friend and I agreed this AM that our second babies seem easier, more enjoyable. Maybe it is partly due to the fact that we are more experienced this time around, or because we didn't need to waste any time mourning the loss of our freedom, instead we are just cherishing every baby moment as we know they really don't last forever.

This friend is also sending her older child to day care and I found a lot of relief in sharing this with her. I have had mixed feelings of guilt and relief that Chance is away, but he is truly happier with his friends than being at home watching me nurse a baby. This allows a lot more time for Karin and I to bond and grow together as daughter and mom than if he was at home with us, and I have a lot more patience with him when he gets home. It's great to listen to his stories about artwork, the games he played and who hit who during Outside Time -- because these toddler moments don't last forever either!

November 20 is Kick A Ginger Day

What Chance will be faced with one day.....my poor little red-head!


1 year ago...

2 years ago....

3 years ago....

New Videos Loaded

I've uploaded quite a few videos of Chance at our Youtube account lately, and looking back at some of the old videos lately has made me realize how much Chance has grown from that wonky monkey rocking back and forth on all fours. Some of the videos have been watched a lot -- eating a cookie (275 times), taking a poop (240 times) and spaced out watching the coffee pot (220 times).

Happy New Year - Hello 2008!

Wow what a year it has been. People tell you that parenting is up and down, but what they don't tell you is that it's up and down and around and around and pretty soon you're regretting the double cheeseburger and milkshake you ate before you got on, haha.

All jokes aside, this year has been great. We've seen such a change in Chance, it is hard to believe that he is the same kid. We've changed too. I think we're more creative and have adjusted more to our new lifestyle. I think we celebrate the small things more. Tonight we feasted on pizza and carrots. We played for a good chunk of time with a pillow - taking turns stealing it from each other. After Cam and I tucked Chance in for the night we high-fived each other in the living room. I know, it sounds wild, but it was a great way to ring in the new year, with our little guy's peals of laughter echoing throughout the house and the cat just trying to stay out of reach.

Happy New Year everyone. May your 2008 bring you health, wealth, and happiness!

3 hours until showtime...

I'm up in the middle of the night. Again.

6:00 AM will come around soon enough. Time to wake Chance up, feed him breakfast, and drop him off at Mrs. G's. The New Routine.

It will be hard not being there to rub his back when he's sleepy and kiss his owwies when he falls down. I will miss sunny afternoons chasing him around the house, playing hide and go seek. And I think I will miss my naps, cups of tea when I feel like it, curling up with the kitty when Chance is asleep. It will be easy letting someone else change the diapers. I worry that Chance will feel hurt that I am gone from him for 85% of his day.

We are officially done with breastfeeding as of 3 days ago or so. There were no tears for either of us, it was just something that neither one of us wanted to continue doing. After cutting out the morning feedings, it felt strange doing it every 24 hours at bedtime. I can't even remember the last time I nursed him properly, maybe in Regina before we travelled home.

Chance received a parcel on the Greyhound Bus this weekend. It was a pumpkin grown in Meadow Lake, just for him. He was very impressed and tried to pick it up, but I think the pumpkin is heavier than he is! He was satisfied with just rolling it around for a while, until he got distracted and then we sequestered the pumpkin into the basement where it is cool and it will keep until Halloween. Thanks Grampa and Grandma Demmans.
























For supper we ate a ham with scalloped potatoes and glazed carrots. We invited a friend over for dinner, he is a bachelor so a big Sunday meal is always a treat. We were supposed to have Ayla and her parents over, but with Chance and I being sick, we didn't want to risk passing it on to another baby. We postponed to next Sunday. After Cam and I got the kitchen cleaned up, we put a couple of containers of the ham stock to cool on the counter. We put Chance to bed and I started putting his lunch bag together. I reached into the cupboard and BLAMMO! his sippy cup bombed off the shelf and right into the container of stock on the cupboard below. The cupboard doors, the backsplash, the crockpot waiting for tomorrow's meal, the floor, the wall, ME, everything was covered in warm, greasy, gelatinous ham stock. GROSS. The floor is still oily feeling. Cam washed it twice, I mopped with hot water and then with lemon juice. What a dramatic close to the evening.

The festivities side tracked me from checking whether our timer is set correctly, so I have now set it to go off at 6 AM, so will check in the morning whether I remember how to use it to get our slow cooker to go off or not. We have an insane slow cooker. Recipes that say cook for 5 hours on high of 10 hours on low mean cook on low for 4 hours unless you want a hockey puck for dinner . When I was at my sister's house she made the most amazing tender beef (chuck!) roast for dinner in her slow cooker. I got a tougher fattier roast this time. If it turns out the same as it has in the past I might try begging, borrowing or stealing another slow cooker, to see if that makes a difference. Jen pointed out that she used farm beef, not store beef, which is leaner these days. The roasts I have produced from that slow cooker are perfectly fine...it's just the one that Jen served me last week opened my eyes to what we have been missing.

Well, I've killed 20 minutes. I should probably go back to bed.

The First 30 Minutes

It's been 30 minutes since Cam and I dropped Chance off at the day home. When we got there, the house was dark, but there was a light on over the doorstep. So we rang the doorbell.

Nothing happened.

Then the door swung open and a man, presumably Mrs. G's husband, said that they were a bit unprepared for such an early start.

Crap. It was 7:05 AM.

Of course we had discussed when we'd like to drop Chance off when we visited Mrs. G a few weeks ago, but when I set up these 2 days of practice day care for Chance, I guess it wasn't understood that we would be doing the day just like it were a regular day of work.

Anyways, Mrs. G took Chance from me, I handed over the little baby backpack filled with diapers and lunch and extra clothes. I stroked Chance on the head one last time before closing the door behind me. It took me a loooong time to close the screen door. Cam was waiting by the truck.

I took Cam to the C-train station and dropped him off, then went to deposit our recycling into the city bins. The bags of milk cartons and tin cans had been sitting in Cam's truck box overnight, got rained on, and then they froze, so my hands felt like shredded meat by the time I was done. There was a Starbucks across the parking lot, so I went in and ordered a big foamy coffee. The last time I was in a Starbucks, it was -30° outside and I was meeting with the RGH moms with a 2 month old baby, still feeling as awkward toting around that little bundle as I do now without him.

Well I am going to go get organized for today's lasagna-thon. I will be going to the Y in about an hour for a kickboxing class, that will get my thoughts off Chance for an hour or so.

I'm really really really trying not to phone Mrs. G right now. Really.

First Visit to Day Home

Chance will spend his first day at the day home with Mrs. G on September 21. And then again on the following Monday, September 24. Then we are gone on vacation and Mrs. G is closed until I go back to work, so those are the only 2 practice days we're going to do. I called today to make the arrangements and make final checks about what to bring etc. I started crying during this conversation, but I don't think Mrs. G knew, or at least if she did know, she didn't make any fuss about it.

Well my little monkey has been fed his afternoon snack of formula and arrowroot cookies & is currently humming away in his crib, it should be a few minutes before I can sneak into his room to cover him up with a blanket.

Time Goes By!

Warm Fuzzies

This morning Chance and I watched a Christmas movie together, still in our jammies. Well, Chance rolled around on the floor with his toys, and I played too, but the movie was playing in the background. I could follow it because I had read the book, Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. It was a cute movie. It only got 1 star, a shame, I thought it was pretty good and stuck to the book quite well. Anywhoo, I digress.

Halfway through the movie I picked Chance up and tried to feed him carrots and applesauce. Nuh. Nuh-uh, no way, Mom are you NUTS? OK, no breakfast. He nursed first thing this morning so that is probably why no appetite for breakfast. No big deal. We went back to the living room, continued playing, the movie was still going. After a little bit, Chance started whining and doing his "I'm getting tired" signs = rubbing face on the floor, grunting a bit, not being able to motor around as much, etc. I picked him up and we cuddled on the couch while the movie finished. He fell asleep within a few minutes. It was so nice. I just inhaled every moment. The fuzzy head of hair rubbing under my chin and the smell of the baby shampoo and the little fist clenching my thumb.

I was filled with a heart-warming fuzzy feeling that went past the holiday-gingerbread-and-hot-chocolate-in-a-snowstorm type of stuff from the movie. This is what I missed this Christmas. This Christmas was all about trying to get the baby to stop crying and watching his impossibly small body spasm with gas pains and won't he ever sleep? and waking up 3 times in the night to feed him and feeling constantly guilty and genuinely depressed. Was I depressed?

I don't know. I know I cried a lot. I found it difficult to laugh and smile, I just chalked it up to not enough sleep. I guess there's not a lot of merit in worrying about it now. I'm just so happy that I feel so good about my baby now.